***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***
This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I have recorded my thoughts and emotions as we got rid of all of our possessions, a house, 2 cars, 2 businesses, and tons of STUFF, in order to free ourselves so that we could live a life of travel. From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts, and still am, on certain days where I feel like writing. These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections). My hope is that my writing inspires you to live your dream. You may not want to do it like we have, but whatever that passion is, grab and hold it and don’t let it go! Xo
Well it’s been just over 2 months since we arrived here in Costa Rica. The difference in my mindset and outlook on life has vastly changed. I almost don’t recognize that person that I was when I arrived here.
For one, and I have talked about this before, I was busy.
I was not only busy when looking at me from the outside, but the inside of my mind was so busy as well. It still is, really, but there is a difference between now and then. I can see it. I can feel it.
Perhaps the difference is that my mind is now more focused. Focused on the present moments, more than the future. However, lately, I have to say, it’s been pre-occupied again.
For the last week or so, I have been thinking about our future, quite a bit. With this sort of life it’s really hard to not wonder what one will be doing next. Our housesitting job ends 2 weeks from today, so it seems natural to start to carve out a plan of sorts.
It’s crazy how 2 months can seem like an eternity, but yet it goes by so fast. It seems as though one only just starts to feel like they are part of something, part of a community, part of something bigger than ourselves, then suddenly it’s time to go.
It’s really hit me recently how important forming our communities is, to a happy and balanced life. As we have been meeting many new people, I’ve realized how strong we are able to build our networks, how carefully we can pick those friends that support us. I’ve realized how easy it is to surround yourself with good people, and how healing it can be when you let the ones go that aren’t working for you anymore.
In the last few months my community has changed drastically. My partner and I left a very tight knit, and so incredibly supportive community in Canada. We left not because we were FINISHED with our community, or TIRED of our community, but because we wanted to BROADEN our community. We wanted to meet people from around the world. We wanted to experience the vastness of humanities differences, we wanted to actually seek out those who are different, those who can teach us things we don’t already know.
And we have done that. We have met many people, we have broadened our global community, we have sought out those that are different from us. But the funny thing is, at the end of the day, we are also realizing that in the ways that we are all so different, we are all also so much the same. Already in our neighbourhood we have met quite a few people that have reminded us of one person or the other from home. It’s impossible to not notice it, and it has me wondering if each small community, does indeed represent the same personalities. The same types of people, presenting themselves at every scale, all the way up to the greater humanity, the entire population of Earth.
The numbers of people that each personality type represents, increase in unison with each other. In a sense, I suppose, it may be another representation of a fractal, a mathematical sequence that repeats into infinity. With this thinking, is it not easy to imagine that it is all a balanced perfection? That maybe there are ‘supposed’ to be the jerks. That maybe each of us is placed here in a delicate balance, in a pattern of perfection.
Is it safe to assume that we are meant to be who we are, with no strings attached? No excuses for our behaviour. We just are. That’s it. Maybe we don’t all need to apologize to others for how we act, or for how we are. Maybe we just need to accept those parts of ourselves, and also those of others, and trust that we are here in this exact spot for a reason, and that who we are, is precisely what is needed in each moment to serve our greater community.
As far as our future goes, we have a few irons in the fire. It seems impossible to me at this point to not plan a little bit. To not have a general idea of where we will go next. However, I hope to get to a place someday where we literally just leave where we are, catch a bus to somewhere, and see what unfolds.
It will be in that moment, I think, when one can truly feel absolute freedom. It’s only in that situation, where life can unfold perfectly in front of you. Only then, will the carpet unroll literally as you walk along it.
I look forward to that moment, but I digress, I’m not quite there yet. For now we will plan a little bit, because for now we still feel the NEED to figure out a plan.
But on the other hand, I’m thinking that the universe already has a plan. In fact, a week ago, or so, a plan may have just dropped in our laps. We are still sorting out details, so I won’t spill the beans yet. But it could be the actual answer to “what’s next?”.
Once we get this next plan figured out, then maybe my mind will relax again, and I will again be able to better focus on the present. It’s not a perfect solution, I wish my mind could relax all the time, and just simply go with the flow. But it can’t yet. I am human, this is a process and it is all part of letting go.
Thanks for reading! Please know that above all else, I aim to inspire others to just get out and see the world. Traveling is such an enriching experience, and I can’t even comprehend how much it has shaped me as an individual. If you have ANY questions, or need travel advice of ANY kind, PLEASE don’t hesitate to email me at the address below! I will do my very best to help you in any way I can!
Xoxoxo Happy Travels!
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