minimalism

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September 7, 2017 – Freedom…..40???

Published September 8, 2017 by jillamatt

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***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions. From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I feel like writing. These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

 

Well, today is the day that I have jumped off of the hamster wheel.

I have been a self-employed house painter (that’s HOUSE painter, not ARTIST painter) for the last 9-10 (11…..12????) years.
I’m one of those weirdos that seriously loves painting.
Now, before you ask yourself these questions (because MANY people do), here are the answers:
YES! I enjoy the monotony!

NO! I don’t mind heights!

NO! I don’t get bored!

YES! I enjoy the repetition! (Is that the same as monotony??) 🙂

YES! It IS hard work!

But, what I enjoy the most with painting, is the transformation of whatever space it is that I am working in.

I enjoy watching my clients witness the change in perspective of how their space has changed.

I enjoy the creative process.

Because of my love of creativity, in the middle of this 10-ish year stint, I mixed in owning a local art gallery for 4 of those years. Meaning I painted very infrequently, but still kept my skills up.

But in 2015 we closed the gallery, and I was back at it painting full time.

It has been good. Through past painting clients, and word of mouth from gallery customers, I have established a good reputation in my town. In all honesty, things were just starting to get comfortable.

However, today I walked away from all of that.

I walked away in order to continue to grow.

I walked away because it was all too much. Too much paperwork, too many insurance policies, too many bills. Just too much “red tape.”

I walked away because I am tired of living a life where I can’t travel.

I walked away because deep, deep, DEEP down, I wasn’t happy.

I have FINALLY realized, at the age of 40, that life is too short to be unhappy, and that what makes me the most happy, is traveling.

Now, I don’t propose that I’m going to retire. I AM NOT the sort of person that just sits on the sidelines and watches the world go by. There will be more work in my future, I have absolutely no doubt. But the work in my future will have meaning. It will have purpose. I will no longer just be a cog in the wheel.

My schedule will be more free, and not one that is stuck in the ways of societal norms.


EVEN THOUGH I have been self employed for all of those years, I have maintained a pretty strict Mon-Fri 9-5 routine. If I took a Monday off, I usually would work a Saturday to balance this out.

My decision to follow this schedule is partly due to societal structures. Clients usually expected this sort of a schedule from me, and I just complied. But another part of  my decision was definitely due to trying to make as much money as I could, so that I could pay my bills. (I’m loving that this is in the past tense right now!!!)

However, it seemed that no matter how hard I tried, even though I was actually enjoying what I was doing, I was not going to get ahead. Which inevitably meant that there would be no traveling.

BUT today I left that all behind! Today I feel like I have FINALLY taken control of my life.

I will no longer be restricted to what society has decided that I “should” do. From now on I will make solid and sound decisions that are guided by my heart, and my instinct.

This feeling is unbelievable!

And I am ecstatic!


All of a sudden I feel like every corner I turn, is the right corner. Every move I am making is sound. The universe seems to be guiding us along, and the more that I just let go and trust what’s going on, the more the miracles fall into place.

One of my latest posts on here was about listing our house for sale. Well…….the house is now sold! It was a magically synchronistic event, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it!

But, in the meantime, ask yourself; Are you happy? Is what you are doing really full filling you?

It is TIME to be asking these questions. It is TIME to make a change if you need to!

We MUST remember that we are NEVER too old to start living the life we WANT to live.

Life is short!

Let’s get busy!!!

 

** Thanks for reading! This is part of a larger group of blog posts about us letting go of all of our possessions to go traveling. If you would like to read from the beginning, click here.**

To learn about where I have previously traveled, click here.

To see my blog post menu, click here.


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August 20th – The Bear

Published August 21, 2017 by jillamatt

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions. From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I feel like writing. These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

Wow!  This last month has been an absolute whirlwind of emotions!

After completing the house renovation project (big PHEW!), and getting the house listed, we pretty much collapsed for a good week. We were both still working, but the evenings consisted of not much more than lounging on the couches and recovering from that crazy ordeal.

We worked absolutely Day AND night to get our house ready to sell. But the feeling we have now is such relief, it’s amazing.

With so much stuff cleared out, the house is now easy to clean, and for likely the first time ever, I actually enjoy it (cleaning that is)!  It feels really good to have so many bare walls and clear surfaces.

Although, we still have some stuff downstairs that needs to go, we feel rest assured that we can easily sell it all in our September yard sale.  After that, the rest can be donated.

From here on in, we really only need to start focusing on preparations for our trip, and getting rid of the last of our big furniture items, and kitchen stuff.

The Bear

As we cleared a bunch of stuff from our attic, before listing the house, I came across a box of old childhood toys that my mom had passed onto me some years back. It had been in storage in three different houses that I lived in, and I don’t think I had even looked in the box for at least 6 years.

In it I found what looked to be a handmade bear, one of many stuffed animals in the box.  I recognized it immediately from pictures of me as a baby. I don’t physically remember having it, as I was never really attached to those things as a kid, but because I had seen it in the pictures, it immediately created some sort of sentimental value in it that was really hard to let go of.

As I pulled it out of the box, I set it aside to deal with the rest of the stuff first. When it came time to do something with it, every ounce of me just wanted to tuck it back in the box, and stuff it back in the attic.  I even suggested it to Chris. Which resulted in a “no way!” from him.

I held the bear, hovering it over the bag for the thrift store for about a minute. It was probably one of the most indecisive minutes of my life. I looked up at Chris as I held it with the most pleading eyes. “I don’ know what to do with it.” “What do I do?”

In that moment, I really needed him to tell me what to do. Even though I had no memory of it, it somehow had this power over me that really took some determination to get through.

He just said “you need to let it go.”

Begrudgingly I stuffed it into the bag, but not before I took a photo of it. I wanted to tell this story, to show people how difficult letting these things go is, but that it really is possible to do.

Those eyes!! I somehow felt BAD casting him off, like I was somehow hurting his feelings.

After posting the picture on Instagram, and sharing it to Facebook, I got a couple requests from friends that wanted me to give it to them, so they could keep it for safe keeping.  Although I felt it a little silly, that they wanted to keep MY stuff for me, it somehow brought a little bit of relief.

Later that evening my cousin messaged me to ask if I had gotten rid of it yet. I hadn’t, it was still in the bag, ready to head to the thrift store the next day. We had some discussion about whether or not her mom had made it, because that is something that she did back in the day.

At the end of the conversation, she asked me to send it to her for safe keeping. I am 100% confident that I will never see that bear again, but at least it’s gone to a good home. There is some comfort in that……..somehow.

Cats!

In this last week, I also let go of my cat, Norbert. It was really hard, but again, he has gone to a good home, so I feel confident that he will be just fine.


Suddenly the house feels very quiet. I miss the little demanding meows that he would echo through the halls when it was dinner time. Or when he just needed to talk and have you hear his gripes. Although we never really knew what he was griping about, the whine that came from the meows made us think he was definitely complaining about something. Maybe whatever it was, has been resolved for him now.

I swept the floor again today, and realized that for the first time in a while, I’m actually winning the war on cat hair. I guess there is one silver lining!

Dealing with Norbert leaving, was hard enough on us both, but to make matters worse, Chris had to put his 11 year old cat down this past week.

Her new owner had taken her to the vet, and there was a few major things wrong with her, including a growth that was suspected to be cancerous, an over active thyroid, skin disease, rotting teeth that had exposed nerves to the elements…..not good. The vet suggested that she was not going to start getting better, and that the treatments involved would be very expensive.

The new owners were clearly not ready to take on the financial burden, so he had to bite the bullet, even though from the outside, she appeared fine.

Like I said, crazy emotions going on around here lately!

———-

But, all in all, and despite everything we are dealing with, we are mostly just excited.

As I was driving to town the other day, I had this crazy wash of emotion start in my belly, work its way to my chest, and seemingly burst from my eyes. It hit me so fast it was impossible to figure out what it was all about.

Was it pure excitement? Was it butterflies? Was it the realization that we are almost there, almost leaving this wonderful town we have called home for so long.

I can only imagine that these things will continue to happen, until we leave.

Not long to go now!  Only about a month!  This weekend we are having a going away party for ourselves. Work is winding up as we complete projects, and time is ticking along, as it does.

Soon we will be flying south, to a life of uncertainty, adventure & excitement!

** Thanks for reading! This is part of a larger group of blog posts about us letting go of all of our possessions to go traveling. If you would like to read from the beginning, click here.**

To learn about where I have previously traveled, click here.

To see my blog post menu, click here.

March 12, 2017 – Overwhelm

Published March 12, 2017 by jillamatt

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions.  From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I feel like writing.  These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

Well, 2 months into our decision to sell everything and go traveling, has brought with it a general theme of “overwhelm”.

Overwhelm, according to dictionary.com has a few similar, yet different, meanings.  The 2 that seem to apply to my current situation are;

  1. to cover or bury beneath a mass of something, as floodwaters, debris, or an avalanche; submerge
  2. to overcome completely in mind or feeling

I have made roughly $4000 selling our stuff, and we STILL don’t feel like we have really scratched the surface.  When I look around and think about all the other stuff we still need to either sell or purge, I get a feeling of overwhelm wash over me.  “Will we ever get through all of this stuff?” The thought runs through my mind on a daily basis, and to make matters worse, this thought is generally followed with “This is exhausting, how much longer can I keep this up?”

messy space 2

An overwhelmingly messy work bench!


Messy SPace

This area has already been purged of AT LEAST half of it’s stuff!

My days are spent working, eating, sleeping and selling!  I find myself dreaming up every angle to try and rid myself of stuff, but get some money for it in return.  For example, this weekend I volunteered at a local event called “Seedy Saturday”.  I am the treasurer for a local organization that supports all things food related, mostly focusing on Food Sustainability in our region.  So, I was manning our booth at Seedy Saturday and found myself looking around the house for related items that I could sell at my table.  I ended up taking 2 gardening books with me, and sold them both for $35.

I have been sharing items from my albums on Crafters’ Buy/Sell pages, and local Clothing Buy/Sell pages, and any others that I deem appropriate.  All of these angles are working, but the time put into making sure I line up the pick ups and drop offs, people who want to try things on, and answering random questions, is definitely a feat to behold.

Through all of this, I have started to notice that although it all feels chaotic and crazy, I realized that some weird side of me ENJOYS it!

I definitely pride myself on performing well in pressure cooker situations.  I can multitask like it’s nobodies business, and the things I can accomplish in short amounts of time when I put my mind to it, sometimes is staggering.

Realizing this, and sort of stepping outside my body to look in, has me wondering how this is all going to look when I get to where I’m going.

Who am I without the constant chaos of life?  Who am I without having to be busy all the time?  Who am I without any major responsibilities?  Who am I without having to check my bank balance all the time to keep up with the constant rotation of bills that cross my desk?

What will my day look like when I have no bills to worry about, no meetings to attend, no schedule to keep?

Quite frankly, I am a little terrified of this life that I am working towards.

Since as long as I can remember I have been busy!  Anytime anyone asks me how I am doing, the answer usually has “keeping busy” attached to it somehow.

Lately I have been having visions of our last day here.  Of driving away from this life and this town that I have spent 11 years cultivating.  Of walking away with nothing, having left all of it behind.  Of seeing the future laid out before us with unlimited options.

It is an exciting feeling, but it is also a very overwhelming feeling.  Is too many options a bad thing?  Is this what tricks our mind plays on us when we leave this crazy path to seek out something unknown?

Is overwhelm a distraction that we create to keep us from living a more peaceful existence?  Does it stop us from accomplishing the things we really want to do in life?

Will the lack of overwhelm in my life, FINALLY be what I need to accomplish my goals, to live the life that I have only dreamed of?

I suppose there is only one way to find out!

One step at a time, focused on the goal, deep breaths…………..

** Thanks for reading!  This is part of a larger group of blog posts about us letting go of all of our possessions to go traveling.  If you would like to read from the beginning, click here.**

To learn about where I have previously traveled, click here.

overwhelm quote

 

 

February 23, 2017 – Laser Focus

Published February 23, 2017 by jillamatt

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions.  From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I feel like writing.  These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of selling, sorting, purging.

We have made roughly $1800 since making the decision to sell everything on January 11th.  And the crazy thing is that we STILL haven’t really sold anything that has any sort of major sentimental value, or feels like we are really separating from something important.  To top it off, we have only sold a couple of things that are near the $100 mark.  Everything else has been bits and pieces, $5, $10, $20 items.  Each day I am either delivering items, or having people pick up items, and quite often I am left at the end of the day with anywhere from $30-$100 in my hand.  So far, I have only been selling on Facebook.  I have been posting things on our local buy/sell pages, but have also created an album right on my personal Facebook Page that lists items and prices.  This has been the most effective amongst my friends.  I actually think that it would be a good idea for EVERYBODY to have something like this on their timeline, so that you can have a constant way to turn things over, and hand them off to friends that need certain things.  Maybe an app idea for someone that is tech savy??

I have adopted the habit of listening to the “The Minimalist” pod cast while I’m sorting through things, and have found that it is very encouraging and really helps me to stay focused while digging through items.  I learned the other day that the average household has on average, $5000 – $15 000 worth of “things” within it’s walls.  They referenced some different websites and wellness coaches that have challenges for people that are looking to pay of debt, or rid themselves of clutter.  For example, one in particular challenges people to raise $20 000 in one year, just by selling things on Kijiji or Craig’s List.

A couple months ago, I would have never thought that this was possible.  But I am here to tell you that your stuff has value!  It is pretty amazing how quickly you can raise a bit of money, by just de-cluttering and putting the time and energy into doing it right.

In fact, the Minimalists advice through this process, in particular to paying off debt, is to have “Laser Focus.”  I have realized that Laser Focus is needed to maintain the momentum.  Even if for one night I start to think that it’s too hard, or that I’m too tired to keep doing this, I start to feel the pull backwards into a place of lethargy and laziness.  It’s too easy to just sink back into that feeling of hopelessness and despair.

And so, we have definitely gotten “laser focused” on getting rid of stuff, NOT spending money, and paying off our debt as fast as possible.  Neither of us have been drinking alcohol, we don’t go out for meals, we don’t grab coffees, or lunches on the go.  We enter a grocery store with a certain amount of cash (usually acquired from selling the ‘stuff’), and don’t spend more than what we have.  All of our purchases are discussed, and everything is done intentionally.

Laser Focus is how we will get this done.  Laser Focus will free us from that which burdens us.  And most importantly, Laser Focus will help us to achieve our dream!

4980836-laser-sharp-focus-quotes

 

February 12, 2017

Published February 13, 2017 by jillamatt

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions.  From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I felt like writing.  These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

Well, the full scale purge has officially begun.  Unfortunately our big group garage sale was cancelled as we got a ridiculous amount of snow here, and many people couldn’t get out of their driveways.

Our living room was packed and ready to go with boxes holding many goodies that we hoped to sell at the sale.  However, instead of feigning defeat, I decided to go ahead with an idea that I had read about on the Thrifty Nomads website.  To sell all of their stuff to go traveling, she made use of various online avenues, but said that most of what they sold was through Facebook.  She suggested starting a “for sale” photo album, that way family and friends could see what goodies are available, right from the comfort of their homes.

This has been a very successful selling avenue already.  I just started about 3 days ago, and already we have sold more than $400 worth of things.  I am also pumping stuff on our local Facebook selling pages, but I’m keeping the higher valued stuff for these pages, as these items reach a much larger audience then just my friends.

Another thing that was suggested on the Thrifty Nomads’ page, was to have everything out and ready to go with prices on them.  That way if somebody comes to pick up their purchase, you can easily show them what else is available to see if they want anything else.

And so, our living room, which is just inside the front door, has now become a small shop.

I will be adding stuff to this as we go, and continuously selling items on Facebook for the duration.  This has turned into somewhat of a sideline for me.  Most of my days are spent working, listing items to sell, researching prices and then coordinating pick ups and drop offs.  There is not much time in there for any type of fun, which is fine with me.  We are on a one way ticket to our freedom, there will be TONS of time for fun when we get to where we are going!

Lately I have also been feeling the wrath of the doubters.  While the majority of people are super excited for us, there are inevitably those who want to give advice, or need to project their own fears onto us.  The whole house selling thing is a biggy.  “What will you have to come back to if you sell it.?”  Yup, I have discussed this before and my answer is still the same.  We don’t know if we are coming back!

There are also questions and concerns about Health Care.  I have to say, this is the least of my concerns, and for this reason; Health Care is super cheap if not FREE, most places in the world!  As Canadians, and North Americans, we have a very warped view of health care being this big expensive thing that will sink our ship if anything goes wrong.  And yes, that IS the case in North America, specifically more so in the US.  Canadians barely dream of crossing the border without some sort of “out of country” top up on our already existing health care plan.  The prices and fees for anything medical related are absolutely out-of-this-world, mind-blowingly expensive!

However, with each naysayer, I am motivated.  It is pushing me along and making me want to prove to everyone that I CAN DO THIS!  I am going to live my dream and nobodies attitudes or opinions is going to get in my way!

We have sold over $1000 worth of stuff now, and we still haven’t scratched the surface.  Nothing has been a hard decision, and I still can’t remember exactly what it is that we have sold.  Just bits and pieces, here and there.  Things, things, things!!

I have completely separated myself from the need to keep anything.  It’s like a switch just clicked and all of a sudden it all didn’t matter anymore.  Every piece of junk that I own, is in my way to living the life I’ve always dreamed of.  It is time to shed some layers!  It is time to peel it all back, be open and vulnerable, and to just SEE what happens next.

I have been following a bunch of different blogs from people who themselves have done something similar to this.  I am fascinated by every detail of how they came to this similar decision, what the straw was that broke the proverbial “camels back.”  I’m so intrigued by these stories and I find myself almost envious that they are doing it already, while I am still back in the grind of normal life, normal routines.

But I rest easy in the knowing that we are on our way!  We are committed, we are excited and we are damn determined!!

February 5, 2017

Published February 6, 2017 by jillamatt

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions. From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I felt like writing. These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 
Well, as we start to prepare for our first major purging sale next weekend, we are coming face to face with the absolution of letting go of things that we have carried around for so many years.  Much of it has no physical value to us, but it is the emotional value that is difficult.

Like my set of “Boccalino” ceramic kirsch cups, given to me by my parents for my 18th birthday.  Or Chris’ Landscaping and Horticultural “Bible” as it was a gift from a friend who went to school for horticulture, and it was one of his textbooks.  It’s obvious that we aren’t bringing these items with us, but It is hard to let go of, all the same.

To date, I have sold roughly $500 worth of “things” mostly through Facebook.  As people ask me what I have sold so far, I find myself having a hard time of even recalling what it was.  I can pick out the odd thing, but certainly NOT $500 worth.  So strange.

I have also realized through this process so far, that I have done this before.

In my early 20’s, my then boyfriend and I would rent a small, affordable, place wherever we were living at the time, then would work our butts off for about 8 months of the year.  For a few years in a row we would take off each winter for 4 months.  We would pack up our stuff, put it into storage, pair down what we needed to, and let our apartment go, with the plan to return the next year and get set up again.

And you know what???  It was a WONDERFUL life!  Sure, we were young and crazy but we all know how the old saying goes, “may as well do it while you are young.”  And so we did!  We did it in a big way.

I’ve also recently been having people (in reaction to my announcement) that say “you may as well do it while your young.”  I then think to myself “Do they realize that I am 40?”  Not that I think 40 is old, but it is moving into a later phase of life where we are told that we should build a foundation, keep working hard, save for retirement.

I had a discussion with my Cousin the other night on this topic. He, and many others, feel that we should try and keep the house so that A) we have something to come back to and B) it’s a rising market here right now.  Which means a) You will never be able to afford to get back in and b) you are missing out on making a lot of money.

I have retorts to all of these sentiments and they are this:

A) We MAY NOT want to come back! Who knows where this will lead. Having a house to deal with, a Mortgage to Pay, Insurance to Pay, having to deal with tenants……..NO THANK YOU!!  As much as I love my house, it is our largest burden in our lives.  I intend to not be tied down by one for a while.  This is going to be a one way ticket to infinity……..we have NO PLANS which means we can end up anywhere,…….. and everywhere!!

B)a) See above

B)b) I intend to make  money living my dream.  We have plans, BIG plans.  IF we kept the house, our dreams would get warped and we would truly not be doing what we had originally intended to do.  Our hearts are truly leading us on this one, because the rational thinking definitely creeps in once in a while.

Anyways,  I actually sat down here today to start writing about a journey I went on back in those crazy early 20’s, but I think I will save that for another time.

Instead I’ll talk about the really cool website that we came across the other day.  Well, it was actually recommended by a friend.  It’s an online site where house owners post ads about needing house sitters, and house sitters post their profile for people to see.  House sitters can browse the current listings, and can also be requested by owners directly.

Anyways, we decided to take a look at what was listed before we signed up (it costs $50/year membership.)  We found many listings in Australia, the US, and England.  There were also a few here and there for Canada.  I scrolled and scrolled and then noticed one for Ecaudor.

Ecaudor!

We were enamored with this idea instantly. We had never considered Ecuador.  We were sort of set on heading to Southern Mexico, Guatemala, or somewhere in Central America.  But Ecaudor really had a nice ring to it.  The only catch, the owner needs us from the  8th of August to September 1st.

“Can we do this by August?”  We were asking ourselves.

In that moment it seemed that yes, sure we could if we put our minds to it.

Ummmmmmm ya sure,  lets just work our asses off like maniacs, pay off all of our debt, sell all of our stuff in a rush panic, just to make sure that we got to our commitment of August 8th.   

Not too mention that I have houses to paint this summer, OUTSIDE, so those would need to be finished before we went.  Is it possible to wrap up my summer work by then?  What if it rains most of the summer, what if I don’t finish, what if what if what if………..?

We even talked about how NICE it will be to just get there and then relax and sleep to recoup from the chaos.  Ya, wouldn’t that be awesome!  We have 3 weeks in Ecuador and we can’t wait to sleep?????  NO THANKS!!

Mind you, it took a couple days for me to come to the realization that I was all of a sudden stressed out about everything.  I was having panic attacks that we wouldn’t be able to sell anything.  I even paced around in the basement, looking for something to sell, and I couldn’t.  (Believe me there are about 4000 things in the basement to sell!)  I came upstairs and pouted to Chris that I couldn’t find anything else to sell………..boo hoo!   Poor me!!

What had happened??

One minute we are pumped about Ecaudor, and the next I’m panicking.  Chris felt it as well.  But when I FINALLY realized that all the heavy feeling anxiety we felt, had to do with this house sitting gig in Ecuador, and the fact that we had somehow put a deadline to all of this, we were able to let it go, and we felt immense relief.  (Never mind the fact that we hadn’t even applied OR been accepted yet. Which makes this all 10 times more ridiculous!)

Arghhhhhhhhhh!!  Why oh why do we do this??

Thankfully we realized it all quite quickly, and we have now made a pact that we will not place unexpected deadlines or anything heavy on ourselves from now on.

This is a process of letting go.

We are not actors in a play where we can just rip off one costume and jump into another one.

This will take time.

That is enough.

“Minimalism is the thing that gets us past the things, so we can make room for life’s important things, which really aren’t things at all.”  -The Minimalists

 

January 14, 2017

Published February 6, 2017 by jillamatt

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions.  From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I felt like writing.  These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

Well, the good ol’ fear has set in, and hard.  We are still set on selling everything in the house, but maybe not the house.  Is it silly to let go of our one major asset that may increase in value?  That may get destroyed on an earthquake while we are away?  We do live on the West Coast of Canada, isn’t “The Big One” supposed to arrive someday.  Do we really want to have to come back here to sell it in the future?  Will we ever live here again?

Both of us keep teetering on the brink of wanting to go full throttle with this, but we also have hesitations.  Then there is the stuff that really is super important.  Do we keep a small container of stuff and ship it from place to place as we re-settle in different places?  Do we just put a few things in storage somewhere for future keeping?  That’s a waste of money unless we can find a free garage or something.  But then that is a burden for someone else.   What if they want to sell their house and move and we are way across the world?

In 4 short days, our thought patterns have been roller coaster rides.  It’s all we can think of.  In the middle of anything we are doing, either one of us will blurt out something like “We can rent an apartment for really cheap in Guatemala.” Or “I guess we are going to sell……(fill in the blank with something that seemed important to us months ago, but is now our path to freedom)”.  We both know exactly what each other is talking about, and it shows that we are both thinking about this day and night.

Initially we discussed only starting to tell people about this in June, thinking that at that point, we would have thought about this thouroughly enough that we would know all the answers and be prepared for peoples backlash.  But really, who cares!!?? And why are we so afraid of others’ opinions? This is our decision, and those that can’t be happy and supportive, then I guess they aren’t the kinds of friends we want to have around.  This is for US!  This is NOT for anyone else.  Yes we may be being selfish, yes it is totally self indulging, and yes we don’t want to answer to anyone about our decisions!  We  have no kids (however we do have 2 cats, so that has to be dealt with at some point, and we aren’t sure what the answer to that one is at this point), and we have no legitimate ties to anywhere really.  Either way, 4 days into this decision, we are thinking that maybe we should start telling people now.

It feels, all of a sudden, like time is on fast forward.  Like there is something seriously awesome at the end of this hard working, burnout circuit that we are on.  Like no task is to large if it means that we have this to look forward to at the end.  Like we can tackle ANYTHING!  The power I feel already is immense.  All I can hear in my mind, over and over like a stuck record is “It is time.”  This encompasses so much, I can’t even put it all together right now.  For once in my life, I am so excited about every day, that it’s like time doesn’t exist.

In fact, our plan to sell the house may have just accelerated to this September, as of this afternoon.  It seems that the more time that rolls on, the more eager we are to blow this pop stand!

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