Overwhelmed? Stressed? Anxiety Ridden? How Many of us Feel This Way?

Buying stuff WILL NOT make us happier.  Having the latest and greatest gadgets WILL NOT make us happier.  Working our asses off and saving up for ‘retirement’ WILL NOT make us happier!  So don’t let it happen!


Over the course of 9 months in 2017, my partner and I sold all of our possessions, including 2 vehicles, and a house full of stuff. In order to sell the house for its maximum value, we also completed 3 months of renovations that had been lingering for over 3 years. We wrapped up 2 businesses and left a town and tight knit community that we both cherished. We did all of this in order to seek out a life of freedom, away from the hustle and bustle of the 9-5 life, but most importantly, we did it so that we could travel. This is our story…….


In recent weeks, my email inbox has started to receive a few kind messages from different people letting me know that our story is inspiring them in some way.  Whether they are living vicariously through our travels, or they are struggling with getting rid of an overload of ‘things’ in their lives, they are reaching out.

The other day I received the following message from Arnold.  With permission from Arnold, I am able to post his letter here (copied and pasted as written) with the hopes that others will learn from, or be inspired by his story.  He writes:


Hello, I enjoyed reading your story very much.  I am currently at a crossroads myself. I am sixty years old and living in the house I inherited from my parents. This is my fifth house but the only one with only a fifty thousand dollar mortgage left. My dad passed five years ago and I moved from Vegas to Connecticut to be a caretaker for my handicapped mother. She passed a year ago. Because caring for my mom was a full time job I have not worked in five years. I do play in a very popular band which plays about 120 gigs a year but don’t earn much money. In fact I am in debt up to my neck. Getting shut off notices from everyone. I have even been driving without car insurance for two weeks. This alone keeps me awake at night. The house like yours needs a great deal of work but I don’t have the resources to make these repairs. It is currently up for sale as is. Some interest but not a lot. If I do sell I might walk away with $100,000.00. Not much but I need to find a way to unplug from getting a bill from someone every time I turn around. And like you I am governed by my stuff. I have three cars. WTF. I am coming around slowly to getting rid of stuff. Hard for me but I know in my heart and more importantly in my head that it is the right thing to do. One thing that I liked about your story is you live in Costa rica. I have heard many great things about this region and would like to learn more. I have no problem living outside the US because everything, EVERYTHING is so expensive. I know I am not framing my thoughts very clearly but just wanted to say hello and hope that your story inspires me. I want to live life and be happy. I don’t want to be burdened with to much responsibility. Been there done that. Raised four kids and had a business that made millions. All gone. lol I just want simple. I want to unplug and detach from the norm or what’s expected of me. In a way I blame my parents generation. They instilled in us that success was measured by how big your house was, how pretty your wife is, and how smart your kids are. Bullshit. All this mentality does is chain you to seeing these things come to fruition. Work the same job for decades to keep it going. Well I’m going to try to find Minimalism now and watch it. Thank you for lisening. Arnold.


My question is this:  How many of us feel this way?  How many of us are overwhelmed and desperately just want to unplug from it all?

There are a few key points to discuss in Arnolds message, and I will attempt to break them down below.

  1. “I’m in debt up to my neck.”
    • This is a sentiment that rings familiar with so many people across the Western World.  Societies push to have the ‘latest and greatest’ gadgets has created an overbearing consumer society.  People simply do not have the money to purchase items, but they use their credit cards to do so instead with the hope to pay it off someday.  Arnold is certainly not alone in this!  In fact, here is a link to the average debt that American Households have, and being a Canadian, I can guarantee that these stats are just as applicable there as well.

      Here’s the Typical American’s Debt Load

  2. “I do play in a popular band……..”
    • I have to say…….KUDDOS to Arnold for continuing to do what he loves, despite the overwhelming pressure (likely) to get a job to pay off his debt.  If Arnold didn’t do what he loved, he would likely be much further along down the Rabbit Hole of depression.  Stress and Anxiety have reached EPIC proportions in the US and beyond.  It is CRUCIAL to unplug from your worries of life, by being creative in some way.
  3. “if I do sell, I might walk away with $100 000. Not much………”
    • $100 000 in Canada and the US, definitely is NOT MUCH money.  But, after living in Central America for over a year now, I can certainly attest that it is PLENTY for down here.  Chris and I housesit as much as we can, or find locals houses to rent in other places where we aren’t housesitting.  In Flores, Guatemala, we rented a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a beautiful deck overlooking a lake for $225/month.  When we shopped at the market, we would spend about $15-$20 for a week of produce.  Eating out was also inexpensive.  Even in the nicest restaurants in Flores, our meal cost would top out at $30, for both of us, including a couple drinks each, but we also frequently visited the street food stalls that usually charge no more than $4 for a very fulfilling meal.
    • I haven’t kept perfect accurate records of our expenses, but I estimate that the last year of living has cost us about $15 000.  Bear in mind that this does include some travelling and staying in Air BnB’s, plus a flight from Costa Rica to Guatemala.  This is everything combined.  In Arnolds case, if he stayed in one place, and lived like the locals, he could likely get by on $7000-$10 000 per year.  Suddenly, with no bills to pay, and all of his debts paid off, Arnold’s $100 000 will go a seriously long way!
  4. “I am governed by my stuff……”
    • This is an all too familiar sentiment for so many people.  I myself was completely governed by my stuff.  And worse, I didn’t even realize it.  Watching the Minimalism documentary, opened my eyes up to the fact that my stuff was controlling my life.  I had spent years building up mountains of stuff all around me, yes I too wanted ‘the latest and greatest’ gadgets.  My life ran off of credit, house payments, loan payments, car payments……the list goes on and on.
    • After living for over a year with only what I can carry around with me, I can tell you with 100% authority that WE DO NOT NEED ALL THAT STUFF!  Sure you might need a few things here and there to make your life comfortable.  But in Arnolds case, he has 3 cars!  What does one person need 3 cars for?!  When we sold our cars back in Canada, we vowed never to own a money pit like that again!  It is one of the largest expenses that we have in the North!  Insurance, gas, car payments, maintenance…….it all adds up to being so much money!  Then when you go to sell it, it is worth basically nothing.
    • In the last year we have ridden on buses, tuk tuks, taxis and any other means of public transport.  When we can, we walk!  We haven’t walked as much in the last year as we have for most of our lives, I’m sure.  When walking isn’t an option, riding public transport is always affordable.  The people down here rely on these services because many of them certainly can’t afford a vehicle.  They are well used, and cheap!  There is no need for vehicles in any place that we have lived so far.  Sure, having a car would have made our lives a little easier in some spots, but we didn’t NEED one.  That is the difference.  Up north we buy things (whether we can afford them or not) because we WANT them, not because we NEED them.  It’s important to create this distinction for yourself and figure out what it is that you only NEED.  Get rid of the rest! Click here for my blog post about How to sell all of your things to travel full time. Even if travelling isn’t your end game, it will give you insights into how to tackle selling at least some of your possessions.
  5. “Had a business that made Millions. All gone. I just want simple.”
    • It is with sadness that I hear this.  Arnold obviously had a productive life back in his younger years.  Made lots of money, bought lots of stuff.  But where has that gotten him?  Here he is at the end of it all, saddled with debt, an overwhelming amount of stuff, and trying to figure out how to get himself out of it all. How many people have worked so hard their whole lives, just to get to this same place?
    • Well, I’m here to tell you that NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE, it is NOT TOO LATE!  At 60 years old, Arnold hopefully has much time ahead of him.  But you know what?  None of us know just how much time that we have.  It is so important to take the steps to make you happy NOW!  Life is short, and we really need to make it count!  I can not STRESS this point enough!
    • After realizing that I had too much stuff, and also realizing that I constantly was trying to figure out ways that I could do more travelling, I FINALLY came to the conclusion that my stuff was getting in the way of it all.  If I wasn’t burdened with all the stuff, all the bills, all the RESPONSIBILITY, I could unplug from it all, and head out into the world to travel freely.  This realization was the single most important lightening bolt moment that I have ever had.  But the thing is, I acted on it!  I didn’t just sit there and feel sorry for myself.  I got busy!  I started selling things!  In a small amount of time, things snowballed and we kept at it.  And in 9 short months, we were heading off on a totally different adventure in life.
  6. “In a way I blame my parents generation.”
    • Yes, I can understand this sentiment.  Society has structured our lives in such a way that in order to succeed at life, we need to go to college, get a job, find a husband or wife, have kids, work our butts off, then retire.  I agree with Arnold, it is all BULLSHIT.  But you know what?  We can change the dialogue any time that we choose to.  WE can decide that we don’t want to live that way, and that alone is where our power is.
    • Having lived in Central America for the last 13 months, has taught me that there is much more to life than all of this.  Granted, nobody here can figure out why we don’t want kids…..but that’s a totally different story.  But no, here they know how to enjoy life.  If they need to work, they go out and find work.  If a restaurant owner is tired from partying the night before, they simply don’t open the next day.  If a group of men are sitting around on a porch on a Wednesday afternoon drinking, nobody questions it.  Nobody gets mad at the restaurant owner, they just go somewhere else.  Nobody wonders why the men aren’t working, it’s none of their business.
    • There is no pressure to be as busy as you can be.  There is no pressure to work yourself into exhaustion.  There is no pressure to ‘get a real job’.  People in this culture ENJOY their lives.  They live for the day, they live for the moment.  They don’t worry about some far off distant place called ‘retirement’.  If they feel like going fishing for a day to feed their family, instead of working to buy groceries, then they will do that instead.  The community spirit is strong, and neighbours support neighbours.  They work together to help each other if they need it, and everybody has SOMETHING to share with others, despite seeming like they have nothing at all.  It is a beautiful thing!

I know that Arnolds story is not unique.  I know that MILLIONS of people are feeling just like he is, in many parts of the world.  Trying to fit into societies standards has been a great undoing of the western worlds culture.  Until we realize that, individually, we need to live life to the fullest, be our happiest, and do what we love, the world will continue to dump its expectations on us, and we will continue to be over worked, over tired, and over run with anxiety and depression.

Buying stuff WILL NOT make us happier.  Having the latest and greatest gadgets WILL NOT make us happier.  Working our asses off and saving up for ‘retirement’ WILL NOT make us happier!  So don’t let it happen!

It is time that we all, individually, started living life to be happy.  Find something that fills your soul and try not to worry about the money.  If you put your best out into the world, you will be rewarded in some way.  Things will fall into place all around you, and you will be surprised by what life has to offer.  Be a role model for your friends!  Show them how life can really be lived!  Show them how they too can be happy and stress free!

Thank you Arnold, for writing me to let me know where you are at in your process.  And for all of you others out there, that are feeling the same way as Arnold, please don’t hesitate to share YOUR story with me.  I really do care about helping you to become a better version of yourself!  You can do it!  I know you can, and I am cheering you on 100%!


Thanks for reading! Please know that above all else, I aim to inspire others to just get out and see the world. Traveling is such an enriching experience, and I can’t even comprehend how much it has shaped me as an individual. If you have ANY questions, or need travel advice of ANY kind, PLEASE don’t hesitate to email me at the address below! I will do my very best to help you in any way I can!

Xoxoxo Happy Travels!


Current Location: Livingston, Guatemala

Travelling Plans: We are housesitting here until the beginning of January 2019.

To head back to the beginning of our journey, and the moment we decided to sell all of our possessions to travel the world, click here.

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September 22, 2017- We Are Unplugged!!!

We have unplugged from life! It’s time to live with passion and excitement! Join us on our journey……

Well, we did it!  I feel like we have carried out a seemingly impossible, monumental task!  

In the last nine months, we have sold all of our possessions, wrapped up 4 years of started renovation projects, sold our house, sold our cars, closed two businesses and refocused our lives into a new direction. 

It has been one hell of a lot of work, but I can tell already that it was worth it!

In fact, I said to Chris yesterday that “even if our plans to go travelling didn’t work out, and we had to come back and start over, it would be worth it.”

I feel like I have cleansed my soul. Like all the burdens that I had been carrying around with me, have flaked off. 

This includes mental burdens, emotions that hadn’t been dealt with properly.  Memories that I was holding onto, that didn’t serve me anymore. Things that we both kept, triggering memories from past lives, that were keeping us both from growing and expanding. 

This includes physical responsibilities that were sometimes crippling.  I would have stints where I felt so overwhelmed with life, that I would have to just lay on the couch for an entire day. Staring off into space or numbing my mind with scrolling through Facebook all day. If I had the energy, we would try and go outside for a hike or other recreational activity, trying to escape the insanity. 

Having been self employed for most of my adult life, including opening and closing multiple home based business’, my life revolved around paper work. Deadlines to file and pay things like goods and services taxes, workers compensation reports and bills (oh the relentless pile of bills!) Business licences and insurance policies (we had 5 on the go) needed to filed and renewed …. the list literally goes on and on. Not too mention that I did all of my own bookeeping. Add this to working full time, volunteering for various community organizations, and attempting to nurture and develop my creative side by constantly having numerous creations on the go at once. 

My life was a constant push and pull of things that “needed” to get done. 
I say was, because as of a day ago, all of that is gone now. 
We are on day two of leaving Powell River, my home of 11 years, and Chris’ for 4, and of course we still talk about “our house” in the present tense, as if we are only on a vacation visiting friends. 

This morning I took a few moments to remember my thoughts when we drove away from the house. I looked in every room before we left, we hugged the neighbours, and then we were gone. Poof!  Just like that!

—————-

We had spent our last day running around town dropping final loads at the dump, the thrift store, and returning items we had borrowed from friends in our final days. We also spent the day in a bit of a limbo as our “get away” vehicle had been in the shop for two days, and for most of the day, we didn’t know if we were leaving that day or not. 

Loading up recycling and office supplies to donate to a local community run organization.
Final Dump Run.
Off went our bed! Guess we have no choice but to leave now!

My parents had kindly driven their camper van out to us from Alberta in August, then flew back home. The plan was that we would have a vehicle to leave Powell River with, allowing us to freely sell both of our vehicles, and still have a way to get our remaining belongings (only a couple boxes and an art piece or two) back to store at our parents before we flew off. 

Until the last week, the camper van just waited in our driveway. But as soon as the vehicles were starting to get sold, we used it to shuffle back and forth, moving them from here to there. (On a side note, our vehicles never did sell, at least not for what they should have, but that’s a story for another day.)

On Sept 18, the getaway van died. The fuel had run a bit lower than I would have liked, and it started chugging down the road. I thought it just needed more gas, so Chris bought a jerry can (we had owned about 10 of them!!) and went and got more gas to put in it. It didn’t help, and the van stayed parked on the side of the road that night. 

Our plan was to leave on the 20th. And although we had decided that there would be no stress, and that we could leave anytime, our families had different thoughts. They wanted to know when we were coming through to visit, so that they could prepare. Not too mention that once deciding on the 20th as our leaving date, we both REALLY wanted it to happen. 

At about 1:00 on the 19th, a tow truck driver picked up the van. Now, this is a story for small town living! We were out for lunch with friends when the tow truck driver finally called and said he was ready to meet us at the van. However we had just gotten our food, so Chris asked him if he could wait half an hour. Instead, he asked where we were eating, stopped by to get the keys, and went and dealt with it by himself, towing it to the shop!  In the meantime, we had one of our vehicles still with us, so we’re still able to get from A to B. 

Final delivery to the thrift store.
2 lonely folding chairs in the living room.
This is all that remains from a house full of stuff, and an utterly chaotic life. Add to this 2 duffels of clothes, and this is all we own!
Late that day, we stopped in at the shop to see if they had looked at it yet. They hadn’t, they were hoping to get to it in the morning. 

We had friends over that night, sitting on our patio furniture (that the new owners are buying,) in our living room. We both drank too much wine, which is probably a good thing as it allowed us to sleep that night. We were a buzz with anticipation. Most of what we felt was excitement, although some was surely anxiety about the state of the van. 

We woke up the morning of the 20th, waiting and waiting for a call. We immediately decided that the only thing to do, was to finish cleaning out the house, getting rid of the last of our items, and just acting like everything was going to be fine. And so we did. 

We live in a ferry dependant community, meaning that we can only leave at certain times of the day. Originally we had hoped to leave on the 5:15 ferry, getting us to our friends across the water at a reasonable time. The clock was ticking, we still had lots to do. 

Finally at 11 Chris called the shop to see what was up. They were just running diagnostics, and they had narrowed it down to a couple possibilities. 

We continued cleaning. Out went our recycling, our items for the thrift store, items that needed to be dropped off around town. We shuffled things back and forth, cleaning the house in stages between trips, until finally our last load had to go. Our mattress and two items of furniture that were junk, got loaded up, and we were off to the dump. 

Happy purgers running errands!
Slowly over the course of the week, my key ring also was purging itself. This is my last key, the key to my house. It was left as well, and now I own nothing that requires keys.

THIS WAS IT!  Our mattress was going!  There was no turning back!  If we had to stay another night, it would be at a friends house. We just kept moving forward, one step in front of the other. I never faltered in my faith that everything would be okay. That we had a plan, and it just had to work out. 

At 3:45 we got the call from the shop. The van was running fine. Apparently it had been running crappy in the morning when they moved it into the bay, but after running a ridiculous amount of diagnostics on it, they couldn’t find anything wrong with it, so they just started it up again. They drove it around, and it ran like a dream. 

No questions asked!  

We bolted down to the shop to pick it up. The towing of the vehicle was covered by my Dad’s extended auto plan insurance, but when we asked the mechanic what we owed for repairs, he said nothing. He told us that he didn’t fix anything, so he didn’t see any point in charging us anything. Most of a day of running diagnostics, and he didn’t see the need to charge us. We were ecstatic!  What a town we lived in!  What a wonderful send off gift!  

At this point we realized that our hopes of getting the 5:15 ferry were dashed, but we still could get the 8:45 boat, our last chance to leave that day. 
We picked the van up, drove straight to the car dealership that was going to sell my vehicle, dropped it off and went home to pack up our remaining stuff and finish cleaning the house.

At about 6:30, we headed down to the ferry terminal, got in line, went for dinner, and that was it!  We were gone!

The white van is our getaway vehicle. Everything we own, fits in there, with room to spare. Check out our going away sunset!!
Last meal in Powell River at the Thaidal Zone!

————-

It’s surreal to me that we have made this crazy transition, that there is no going back, that we have nothing to return to. That life is still going on, everybody is going about their daily business, but we aren’t.  

We have all of a sudden jumped into a life of meaning and decisions about what we WANT to do. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are details to solidify, and at some point, money will have to be made again, but for now, RIGHT NOW, we will enjoy this blissful existence. For we have literally spent the last 9 months giving our absolute all, just to get to this point. 

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


—————–—

I wrote the above segment to this post, this morning when I woke up. Shortly after, we went for a walk to a nearby coffee shop to grab a bite to eat and a coffee. Not long after sitting down to enjoy our goodies, some inexplicable tears started rolling down my face. Chris was looking at me inquisitively and I kept apologizing, not really knowing why it was happening. Always the analyzer, I immediately jumped into my head to try and figure out what was happening. The conversation in my head went something like this:

“Why am I crying?”

“Well you have sort of been through a lot, it’s okay to cry.”

“I’m not sad though, I don’t understand?!”

“It’s okay, you have been through a lot. It’s okay to cry.  This is all part of the process, just let it out.” 

I wasn’t a sobbing mess, they were just streams of water leaking out on their own accord.  Crying is one of those things that is most commonly associated with sadness, but after a few moments, I realized that it was joy. It was nothing more than utter relief and joy. 

So I sat with it.  Tears of happiness and the realization of what we have accomplished, and what we have to look forward to, just poured from my eyes. 

It reminded me of a time in Amsterdam, where we had a 23 hour layover on our way to our 6 week trip through Greece, Italy and Bulgaria, almost 2 years ago. I hadn’t travelled internationally in 8 years, and I had the exact same feeling of happiness and relief in a little Vietnamese restaurant as I watched the throngs of people walk by the windows. There too, tears of joy leapt from my eyes. 

This is it!  I have once again found joy!  THIS is what I have been searching for!  

I vow to myself to never let it go again. Sure, there will still be hard times, but my life will be lived with passion and determination. No more strings pulling me in a thousand directions. No more wrestling in my mind about what it is I SHOULD do.

From now on, we are making the rules for our life. 

From now on, we will NOT simply exist. 

———–

Thanks for reading!  Please subscribe on the right hand column if you would like my blog posts to go directly to your email inbox.

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Current Location: Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. 
Current travel plans: The next couple  weeks will see us driving  through BC, Alberta and Saskatchewan to visit friends and family before flying to Costa Rica mid October. 

If you are a traveller, and you would like to connect and talk travel, or if you just want to chat with us about our experiences, leave a comment below and we can connect!

September 7, 2017 – Freedom…..40???

I

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions. From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I feel like writing. These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

 

Well, today is the day that I have jumped off of the hamster wheel.

I have been a self-employed house painter (that’s HOUSE painter, not ARTIST painter) for the last 9-10 (11…..12????) years.
I’m one of those weirdos that seriously loves painting.
Now, before you ask yourself these questions (because MANY people do), here are the answers:
YES! I enjoy the monotony!

NO! I don’t mind heights!

NO! I don’t get bored!

YES! I enjoy the repetition! (Is that the same as monotony??) 🙂

YES! It IS hard work!

But, what I enjoy the most with painting, is the transformation of whatever space it is that I am working in.

I enjoy watching my clients witness the change in perspective of how their space has changed.

I enjoy the creative process.

Because of my love of creativity, in the middle of this 10-ish year stint, I mixed in owning a local art gallery for 4 of those years. Meaning I painted very infrequently, but still kept my skills up.

But in 2015 we closed the gallery, and I was back at it painting full time.

It has been good. Through past painting clients, and word of mouth from gallery customers, I have established a good reputation in my town. In all honesty, things were just starting to get comfortable.

However, today I walked away from all of that.

I walked away in order to continue to grow.

I walked away because it was all too much. Too much paperwork, too many insurance policies, too many bills. Just too much “red tape.”

I walked away because I am tired of living a life where I can’t travel.

I walked away because deep, deep, DEEP down, I wasn’t happy.

I have FINALLY realized, at the age of 40, that life is too short to be unhappy, and that what makes me the most happy, is traveling.

Now, I don’t propose that I’m going to retire. I AM NOT the sort of person that just sits on the sidelines and watches the world go by. There will be more work in my future, I have absolutely no doubt. But the work in my future will have meaning. It will have purpose. I will no longer just be a cog in the wheel.

My schedule will be more free, and not one that is stuck in the ways of societal norms.


EVEN THOUGH I have been self employed for all of those years, I have maintained a pretty strict Mon-Fri 9-5 routine. If I took a Monday off, I usually would work a Saturday to balance this out.

My decision to follow this schedule is partly due to societal structures. Clients usually expected this sort of a schedule from me, and I just complied. But another part of  my decision was definitely due to trying to make as much money as I could, so that I could pay my bills. (I’m loving that this is in the past tense right now!!!)

However, it seemed that no matter how hard I tried, even though I was actually enjoying what I was doing, I was not going to get ahead. Which inevitably meant that there would be no traveling.

BUT today I left that all behind! Today I feel like I have FINALLY taken control of my life.

I will no longer be restricted to what society has decided that I “should” do. From now on I will make solid and sound decisions that are guided by my heart, and my instinct.

This feeling is unbelievable!

And I am ecstatic!


All of a sudden I feel like every corner I turn, is the right corner. Every move I am making is sound. The universe seems to be guiding us along, and the more that I just let go and trust what’s going on, the more the miracles fall into place.

One of my latest posts on here was about listing our house for sale. Well…….the house is now sold! It was a magically synchronistic event, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it!

But, in the meantime, ask yourself; Are you happy? Is what you are doing really full filling you?

It is TIME to be asking these questions. It is TIME to make a change if you need to!

We MUST remember that we are NEVER too old to start living the life we WANT to live.

Life is short!

Let’s get busy!!!

 

** Thanks for reading! This is part of a larger group of blog posts about us letting go of all of our possessions to go traveling. If you would like to read from the beginning, click here.**

To learn about where I have previously traveled, click here.

To see my blog post menu, click here.


August 20th – The Bear

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions. From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I feel like writing. These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

Wow!  This last month has been an absolute whirlwind of emotions!

After completing the house renovation project (big PHEW!), and getting the house listed, we pretty much collapsed for a good week. We were both still working, but the evenings consisted of not much more than lounging on the couches and recovering from that crazy ordeal.

We worked absolutely Day AND night to get our house ready to sell. But the feeling we have now is such relief, it’s amazing.

With so much stuff cleared out, the house is now easy to clean, and for likely the first time ever, I actually enjoy it (cleaning that is)!  It feels really good to have so many bare walls and clear surfaces.

Although, we still have some stuff downstairs that needs to go, we feel rest assured that we can easily sell it all in our September yard sale.  After that, the rest can be donated.

From here on in, we really only need to start focusing on preparations for our trip, and getting rid of the last of our big furniture items, and kitchen stuff.

The Bear

As we cleared a bunch of stuff from our attic, before listing the house, I came across a box of old childhood toys that my mom had passed onto me some years back. It had been in storage in three different houses that I lived in, and I don’t think I had even looked in the box for at least 6 years.

In it I found what looked to be a handmade bear, one of many stuffed animals in the box.  I recognized it immediately from pictures of me as a baby. I don’t physically remember having it, as I was never really attached to those things as a kid, but because I had seen it in the pictures, it immediately created some sort of sentimental value in it that was really hard to let go of.

As I pulled it out of the box, I set it aside to deal with the rest of the stuff first. When it came time to do something with it, every ounce of me just wanted to tuck it back in the box, and stuff it back in the attic.  I even suggested it to Chris. Which resulted in a “no way!” from him.

I held the bear, hovering it over the bag for the thrift store for about a minute. It was probably one of the most indecisive minutes of my life. I looked up at Chris as I held it with the most pleading eyes. “I don’ know what to do with it.” “What do I do?”

In that moment, I really needed him to tell me what to do. Even though I had no memory of it, it somehow had this power over me that really took some determination to get through.

He just said “you need to let it go.”

Begrudgingly I stuffed it into the bag, but not before I took a photo of it. I wanted to tell this story, to show people how difficult letting these things go is, but that it really is possible to do.

Those eyes!! I somehow felt BAD casting him off, like I was somehow hurting his feelings.
After posting the picture on Instagram, and sharing it to Facebook, I got a couple requests from friends that wanted me to give it to them, so they could keep it for safe keeping.  Although I felt it a little silly, that they wanted to keep MY stuff for me, it somehow brought a little bit of relief.

Later that evening my cousin messaged me to ask if I had gotten rid of it yet. I hadn’t, it was still in the bag, ready to head to the thrift store the next day. We had some discussion about whether or not her mom had made it, because that is something that she did back in the day.

At the end of the conversation, she asked me to send it to her for safe keeping. I am 100% confident that I will never see that bear again, but at least it’s gone to a good home. There is some comfort in that……..somehow.

Cats!

In this last week, I also let go of my cat, Norbert. It was really hard, but again, he has gone to a good home, so I feel confident that he will be just fine.


Suddenly the house feels very quiet. I miss the little demanding meows that he would echo through the halls when it was dinner time. Or when he just needed to talk and have you hear his gripes. Although we never really knew what he was griping about, the whine that came from the meows made us think he was definitely complaining about something. Maybe whatever it was, has been resolved for him now.

I swept the floor again today, and realized that for the first time in a while, I’m actually winning the war on cat hair. I guess there is one silver lining!

Dealing with Norbert leaving, was hard enough on us both, but to make matters worse, Chris had to put his 11 year old cat down this past week.

Her new owner had taken her to the vet, and there was a few major things wrong with her, including a growth that was suspected to be cancerous, an over active thyroid, skin disease, rotting teeth that had exposed nerves to the elements…..not good. The vet suggested that she was not going to start getting better, and that the treatments involved would be very expensive.

The new owners were clearly not ready to take on the financial burden, so he had to bite the bullet, even though from the outside, she appeared fine.

Like I said, crazy emotions going on around here lately!

———-

But, all in all, and despite everything we are dealing with, we are mostly just excited.

As I was driving to town the other day, I had this crazy wash of emotion start in my belly, work its way to my chest, and seemingly burst from my eyes. It hit me so fast it was impossible to figure out what it was all about.

Was it pure excitement? Was it butterflies? Was it the realization that we are almost there, almost leaving this wonderful town we have called home for so long.

I can only imagine that these things will continue to happen, until we leave.

Not long to go now!  Only about a month!  This weekend we are having a going away party for ourselves. Work is winding up as we complete projects, and time is ticking along, as it does.

Soon we will be flying south, to a life of uncertainty, adventure & excitement!

** Thanks for reading! This is part of a larger group of blog posts about us letting go of all of our possessions to go traveling. If you would like to read from the beginning, click here.**

To learn about where I have previously traveled, click here.

To see my blog post menu, click here.

March 12, 2017 – Overwhelm

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions.  From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I feel like writing.  These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

Well, 2 months into our decision to sell everything and go traveling, has brought with it a general theme of “overwhelm”.

Overwhelm, according to dictionary.com has a few similar, yet different, meanings.  The 2 that seem to apply to my current situation are;

  1. to cover or bury beneath a mass of something, as floodwaters, debris, or an avalanche; submerge
  2. to overcome completely in mind or feeling

I have made roughly $4000 selling our stuff, and we STILL don’t feel like we have really scratched the surface.  When I look around and think about all the other stuff we still need to either sell or purge, I get a feeling of overwhelm wash over me.  “Will we ever get through all of this stuff?” The thought runs through my mind on a daily basis, and to make matters worse, this thought is generally followed with “This is exhausting, how much longer can I keep this up?”

messy space 2
An overwhelmingly messy work bench!

Messy SPace
This area has already been purged of AT LEAST half of it’s stuff!
My days are spent working, eating, sleeping and selling!  I find myself dreaming up every angle to try and rid myself of stuff, but get some money for it in return.  For example, this weekend I volunteered at a local event called “Seedy Saturday”.  I am the treasurer for a local organization that supports all things food related, mostly focusing on Food Sustainability in our region.  So, I was manning our booth at Seedy Saturday and found myself looking around the house for related items that I could sell at my table.  I ended up taking 2 gardening books with me, and sold them both for $35.

I have been sharing items from my albums on Crafters’ Buy/Sell pages, and local Clothing Buy/Sell pages, and any others that I deem appropriate.  All of these angles are working, but the time put into making sure I line up the pick ups and drop offs, people who want to try things on, and answering random questions, is definitely a feat to behold.

Through all of this, I have started to notice that although it all feels chaotic and crazy, I realized that some weird side of me ENJOYS it!

I definitely pride myself on performing well in pressure cooker situations.  I can multitask like it’s nobodies business, and the things I can accomplish in short amounts of time when I put my mind to it, sometimes is staggering.

Realizing this, and sort of stepping outside my body to look in, has me wondering how this is all going to look when I get to where I’m going.

Who am I without the constant chaos of life?  Who am I without having to be busy all the time?  Who am I without any major responsibilities?  Who am I without having to check my bank balance all the time to keep up with the constant rotation of bills that cross my desk?

What will my day look like when I have no bills to worry about, no meetings to attend, no schedule to keep?

Quite frankly, I am a little terrified of this life that I am working towards.

Since as long as I can remember I have been busy!  Anytime anyone asks me how I am doing, the answer usually has “keeping busy” attached to it somehow.

Lately I have been having visions of our last day here.  Of driving away from this life and this town that I have spent 11 years cultivating.  Of walking away with nothing, having left all of it behind.  Of seeing the future laid out before us with unlimited options.

It is an exciting feeling, but it is also a very overwhelming feeling.  Is too many options a bad thing?  Is this what tricks our mind plays on us when we leave this crazy path to seek out something unknown?

Is overwhelm a distraction that we create to keep us from living a more peaceful existence?  Does it stop us from accomplishing the things we really want to do in life?

Will the lack of overwhelm in my life, FINALLY be what I need to accomplish my goals, to live the life that I have only dreamed of?

I suppose there is only one way to find out!

One step at a time, focused on the goal, deep breaths…………..

** Thanks for reading!  This is part of a larger group of blog posts about us letting go of all of our possessions to go traveling.  If you would like to read from the beginning, click here.**

To learn about where I have previously traveled, click here.

overwhelm quote

 

 

January 16, 2017

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions.  From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I felt like writing.  These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

Well I did it!  After visiting my cousin this morning to tell him, I figured that my parents need to know ASAP before the network expands.  So, I did it.

In true predictable fashion, they had the obvious questions about where we plan to go and live, how we were going to survive, the usual concerns.  But after about 2 minutes of explaining myself, Dad said that he was supportive, and that it was my life and I needed to do whatever it is that makes me happy.  Mom, meanwhile let out a bunch of long sighs, but I know she will come around and be excited for me once this all gets going.  After all, this isn’t the first time I have dropped these kinds of bombs on them.  However, it IS the first time in a long time.

It’s actually no surprise really.  For the most part, over the course of my life, they have supported any hair brained ideas that I have had.  One in particular found me and my ex-husband purchasing a kayak from a Kayak shop in the Florida Keys.  We had never kayaked before, how hard could it be?  We literally bought it and pushed it out into the Florida Evergaldes right behind the store,  to embark on a 4 week journey up to Evergaldes City and back to Flamingo.

We had been working on a boat in Ft. Lauderdale, crewing on it back and forth to the Bahamas when we got sick of that gig.  We made our way down to the Keys, and came up with our cockamamie plan.  My parents just happened to be doing some business in Miami at the time, so they drove down to see what we were up to, and were there the day we filled the kayak with whatever essentials that we thought we needed (mostly stuffed into black garbage bags), and helped to push us off the shore.

A month later we told them that we were shipping the boat to the Bahamas and that we planned to paddle around there for a while.  No idea how long, just a while.  We paddled from Nassau down to Georgetown, following the Exuma chain, and YES making the 23 mile crossing from Rose Island to the tip of the Exumas, Ship Channel Cay.  This meant days and weeks without hearing from us as we moved from place to place looking for a way to call home.  We came across one spot at one point that had had their telecommunications blown out by the last hurricane.  The satellite phone costed $5 per minute, so the conversation went something like this: “Hi Dad, it’s Jill, we are alive but this is costing us $5 per minute so we will call you later when we get to a better phone.”  His response: “Okay Jill, thanks for calling.”  I think at that point they hadn’t heard from us in about 2 weeks, and were fully aware of where we were and what we were up to.  In fact, they seriously urged us not to make the 23 mile open ocean crossing as they knew that many things could go wrong out there.

Little did I know, because when you are 21/22, you don’t really consider your parents are worried to death about you, they were having nightmares about tides coming in and washing our kayak and all of our belongings out into the ocean while we slept, leaving us stranded in the middle of nowhere.  Little did THEY know, we also had a few sleepless nights where the only spot we could find to camp was jammed into a mangrove forest, and we weren’t sure how high the tide would come.  So we would consequently wake up every hour or so and look outside to see what was up.  Thankfully, in one particular spot, it was a dead calm night, and the water came within inches of our tent and then finally started to recede again.

So really, this is a piece of cake to them.  I’m 40 years old, I have a solid head on my shoulders, and I am headed to places on the land to rent a house or apartment.  At least, that is the plan so far.  Who knows what crazy thoughts we will dream up once we get out there!

Okay, deep breath……Chris’ mom next, then we can really start the ball rolling with this.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!  I’m really excited now!

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