January 17, 2017

Published February 6, 2017 by jillamatt

***Jill’s ‘letting go’ Diary***

This is part of a series of posts (ordered by Dated Titles) where I am recording my thoughts and emotions as we tackle getting rid of all of our possessions.  From the day that I came up with this idea, to sell everything and travel the world, I have recorded my thoughts on certain days where I felt like writing.  These are real time, and not edited (except for grammatical corrections.) 

This morning I woke to some thoughts that are surely run by fear.  It was the “but I love my little house” thoughts.  These thoughts were swept over with a terrible sense of nostalgia for not only the house, but all of my stuff in it.

Sigh…..I can see already that this is going to be a difficult process.

These initial thoughts were followed by an impending dread that I am again following an old pattern.  You see, in the past, I have owned a few different houses.  All of them were in various stages of repair and renovation, and it seemed that as soon as I (we) got them to a state of happy completion, we would sell it and move on to something else, never really enjoying the finished product.

With this house, I VOWED to pick away at it and make it my little dream house and then ENJOY it!  Not sell it!  But, here I am again, planning to do much the same thing.

We have been working our little butts off on this place, improving it, renovating and trying to make it our perfect sanctuary.  Are we really just going to throw that all away?  Will I ever be able to carve out my dream, and then enjoy it?

Or maybe, just maybe, this next adventure is my Dream, and I just need to succumb to the letting go to see what else is out there for me.

Yup, this year is going to be an interesting ride of emotions……..I can see that already.  It has just been a week since we made this decision, and already I think I have hit every emotional spectrum that is possible.  I think the actual selling and letting go of stuff is going to be a monumental triumph for me.

Deep Breath……………….

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